Day 56 - Week 8 COMPLETED

Wow! 8 WEEKS!! This is really awesome! I think I am going to register a 7 lb loss from last Tuesday to today. I lost 2.4 lbs from Thursday two weeks ago to the following Monday, so that would be - if my 7 lbs guess is right - 9.4 lbs in 2 weeks!! WOO HOO!! I LOVE THIS!!

Also, I am now in my 1st set of step down clothes!!! I am fitting into the smaller clothes and it feels great! My mobility increases every day. I'm working out Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, active/dancing/running around with friends on Friday and Saturday and then rest on Wednesdays and Sundays.

One of the ladies in my group was acting as if I'm being obsessive about my working out, but I think she's being defensive cause she's only losing like .5 to 1.5 lbs per week. At first I was like "Am I being obsessive?" and then I realized - even if I am, that's OK! lol! I'm not I don't think, but even if I am that is fine. Of all the times for me to obsess over working out, now's the time people!!

Ok, so, 8 weeks in, maybe it's time to post what I looked like when I started and what I look like now...Damn this is scary! lol! I hope none of my 0 Readers are stalkers! hahah! ;)

DAY 01

Day 55

(Notice, the same shirt! lol!) 

Well, wish me luck tonight 0 Readers...I hope to get great news!

Day 55

I am back from my vacation 0 Readers and MAN did I have a great time! Went to South Lake Tahoe, won some money, did a lot of walking, went to the lake, slept in...it was perfect!!

I did a last minute weigh-in on Monday night, registered a 2.6 lb loss from Thursday to Monday. Not a lot but good I guess. I wanted more of course but was very busy and only able to work on Thursday due to plans on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

I am hoping to register a big weight loss after my very active vacation!

So, let's see...I ate lettuce, cucumbers and red wine vinegar, god was it amazing!! lol! The flavors tasted like a rainbow. The lettuce was SOOO sweet! I cleared this with my doctor before the vacation. It was a special dinner and I wanted to eat something.

I start working out again today, weigh-in tomorrow and then Weds & Thrus. at the gym, Friday night swimming with the friends. And Saturday too!

Trying to keep busy, loving my clothes getting bigger and bigger. Love my seat belt having more and more room, love feeling lighter and moving more easily! I am keeping all my goals in sight and just keep persevering!!

Talk to you later, 0 Readers!!

Day 47

Well 0 Readers, it's full on summer, though not really that hot where I live, but my summer schedule is jamming and that is why I am not posting as much for 0 of you to read. I go to my weigh-in early this week, tonight actually, because I am leaving tomorrow evening for 5.5 days! So excited!!

I am also just putting my nose to the grindstone and working and working out. That is why I haven't posted much too, because there isn't much to report.

What I can report - every day doing 2 hours at the gym gets easier and easier, by Saturday of this week I was physically sore, 9 days of working out and finally a day of rest. But I'm building muscle, burning fat, my sugars are right on target. Everything is going really well.

How are my food cravings you ask? Less, much much less. Everyone asks me if I still want food - YES! lol! I do! I don't think we ever stop wanting food.

Anyway, that's all for now. I will report in my truncated weight-loss results tomorrow after tonight's weigh-in.

Day 43

ALERT! ALERT!! ALERT 0 READERS!!! I lost 5.8 lbs this past week!!! WOO HOOO!!!

This means my exercise is really paying off!! So excited!!

Not really much to write, I am staying on the program, my blood work keeps coming back looking really good, I'm drinking all my water, doing 5 shakes a day and extremely stressed with work. lol!

Emotionally I'm on a roller coaster, I'm hoping that levels out soon. I guess with not eating food and using it as a crutch, I'm having to deal with my emotions more. SUCKS! lol!

Anyway, great day, great week. So happy!

See you later 0 Readers!!

DAY 41

Happy Tuesday 0 Readers!! I'm sorry I didn't write yesterday, my boss was back from his 2.5 week vacation and I was in emotional hiding. lol! I did as little as possible. Man, I am just a HORRIBLE employee. But you know what I'm good at now? Being active!!!

I worked out for 1 hr and 45 mins yesterday at the pool! I feel so great getting this stuff done. I also cheated and weighed myself at the gym...I think I've lost 5 lbs since last Wednesday!! WOO HOO!! If that's true - and I won't know till my official weigh-in - than I have hit my goal for the week and this just proves my hard work and commitment are paying off!

I just love my gym, two pools, really nice people and now I know that I can do this. So happy!! I slept like a log last night. lol! My house is a mess, my room is a mess, my car is a mess, have to clean that up on Wednesday night. I can't exercise on Wednesday cause I have my weight-loss meetings but I will do all that cleaning and it should make up for it.

I have girls Bunco on Friday night at my place so I can't work out that night, but I plan on pumping some tunes and getting the house dancing!!

So, regarding the Chewing and Spitting thing I was doing, I have great news!! So this weekend when I was all alone I could have gone totally Chew and Spit wild, but I didn't!! I kept thinking about what the food looked like afterwards - disgusting beyond belief -and had no desire to do it!! This is exciting, this means that I can move past that faze in this process.

On Friday night after a lot of swimming and dancing, I decided to take a picture of my face and compare it to a picture I took on the day I started the diet....OMG!! It's so much different! I was stunned! Although, My 5head (a really big forehead) is looking so much larger now because my big old cheeks had taken away from the massive wall that is the top of my face. lol! Oh well, I'll live with it 0 Readers, I'll live with it...somehow! lol!

Nothing else exciting right now, just doing my water, shakes, work, exercise and getting really excited with my results.

Day 37

Happy Friday 0 Readers!!

I went to the gym pool yesterday and worked out for almost two hours. I stared getting leg and foot cramps so I got out but it felt GREAT!!

I got home to find my Hydro-Fit equipment came in, oh happy day!! This equipment is amazing, it's aerobic, resistance training with almost 0 impact on joints. It's so great for the back too. I am really looking forward to this.

I took the instruction book to work, scanned the pages, printed it out double sided, slid pages into plastic page protectors, stuck them in a 3 ring binder and created a workout workbook so I can do all the exercises. Than I put really funny binder covers on the front and back:

Hahaha!! I just love these! The Vintage workout pictures crack me up but the second page just makes me smile so much.

And the last picture says:

"Food is the most widely abused anti-anxiety drug in America and Exercise is the most potent yet underutilized antidepressant." 

That resonates with me deeply. I know for sure that I used food to sooth my nerves on many occasions and to numb my emotions maybe daily. I never thought I could really change that, but I think for the first time in my life I AM changing that issue and it feels great.

So tonight I will do my first workout routine based on the training booklet and will let you know how I do. I My target is 3 hours of workout a day. That's the only way I am gonna hit extreme numbers in short time.

Happy Weekend Zero Readers!!

Day 36

ALERT! ALERT!! Alert 0 Readers! ALERT! I've lost 6 more lbs in the last two weeks, that comes to a total of 28.4. Believe it or not, I'm slightly disappointed. I wanted to lose 10 lbs. My new workout plan should up my numbers, but I don't like this 3 lbs per week thing. I'm sacrificing too much to see numbers like those.

So I signed up for the gym today and will be going tonight.

Honestly though, everyone keeps reinforcing how good I am doing. The Doc said "You're boring, your numbers are perfect, everything is going great. You can exercise more, but everything is going really well." lol! I think he thinks I'm crazy. Honestly, the only one who really gets it is that mega bitch from my 3rd week, the woman who showed up and wanted nothing to do with any of us. She said "I get it, the faster you lose the faster you reach your goal and can move on with your life". And that's the truth.

The gym I joined is MEGA! It has hundreds of machines and each machine has their own TV, they have all these free classes, two pools, yoga, masseuse, sauna, everything! So excited to start tonight.

Ok 0 Readers, that's it for now! Wish me luck!

Day 35 - Week 5 Complete!

Weigh-in day!! I'm prepping myself for an 5 lb loss. 2.5 lbs per week. If this is the case I'm gonna have to triple my working out.

And in that vein...I've signed up with a local community center with both an indoor and outdoor pool! I will be swimming everyday, getting in lots of exercise. I love to swim so this is perfect!

I think that one of the side effects of begin so open about what I am doing is having so many people want to know how my progress is going. I have some asking me how much I want to lose, what my final goal is, etc. I've managed to avoid answering them - some things stay private. But it's odd to have people ask those questions. Part of me wants to say "How much do YOU weigh?" lol! But that's not fair, they aren't putting their weight and weight-loss plan on display for everyone to discuss. Doesn't stop it from being uncomfortable though.

I am really excited to start going to the gym and swimming everyday. I want to see my weight loss numbers go up, 2.5 - 3 lbs a week just isn't enough considering I don't eat anything anymore. I need those numbers to be at 5 lbs per week.

So, I need to confess...I did the chew and spit thing again. I did it yesterday, Monday and then last Tuesday. Yesterday it was a McD's cheeseburger & fries. Monday it was wheat thins and dip, last Tuesday was bean burrito. Chew chew chew....spit - GROSS! But so good! Chew chew chew...spit - GROSS!! But so good! lol! That's my mantra as I'm doing it.

Yes, I know it's bad, I know it's not healthy, but I also know that I don't want to SWALLOW the food either. But to taste it! OMG! so awesome. And it's funny with each food I do it with, I have no more desire for that food because all I can remember is what it looked like after I spit it out. lol! I'm not advocating this, I know this is bad. I'm simply being honest about my process and how I'm managing to get through it.

Last night after work I went home, did my secretive Chew/Spit thing, then went into my room and watched TV. I tried to keep moving, I used my hand weights and just kept my legs moving.

I also need to fast for 4 hours before my appointment tonight, so I will be one hunger girl tonight in our meeting! lol! Wish me luck 0 Readers!

Day 34

Hello 0 Readers! I've returned from my wonderful 4th mini vacation in South Lake Tahoe! I am $1200 richer and hopefully a little lighter! I walked around every day, my friends and I had a great time, I was able to deal with not eating food and really enjoyed my time!!

I avoided going out to eat this time but might not be able to avoid it next time. I had lots of cravings of course. My friends mother asked me if it was hard with them eating and I said "I will always want to eat regular food and I will always want to be eating what you or others are eating when I am on this fasting diet. It's never not there." and that is the TRUTH 0 Readers.

But now I crave healthy things too, like a salad with blue cheese and beets. Or black beans and rice. Always Avocado. lol! I crave fruits and veggies - I've always loved vegetables. Just everything. I find myself missing meals more than snacks though. So that's good!

When were were at Mont Bleu I went swimming every day - it was so nice! I ran into an older lady who had these HydroFit workout things. I've already purchased a set and am going to enroll at a gym with a pool and start doing it everyday - I felt great!

My walking is getting better, faster, easier!

I have my weigh-in tomorrow. First in two weeks. I'm afraid I only lost 5 lbs even though I moved so much more, I hate that my weight loss numbers are slowing down so fast. I am upping my activity so I hope that helps. I want to be done in a year!

Day 29, Happy 4th of July!!

So I had to post as I'm waiting to see the fireworks at South Lake Tahoe. I'm reminded of 18 months ago when I saw the fireworks here and I was brought to tears because I truly believed I wouldn't live to see them again. What a joyous day for me today, 0 readers, as I am living in a new reality now. Happy Independence Day 0 readers, as I celebrate my own newly believed in future!!!

Day 27

ALERT!! ALERT!!! ALERT 0 READERS!! ALERT!!! I had my first "skinny" dream!!!! I was dreaming about hanging out with some girl friends on a trip and we were shopping and I found all these cute tops and then I was RUNNING ahead of them to burn some calories. Later I saw a reflection of myself in a mirror, I was wearing an AWESOME red jacket with some major flair around the collar,  I was probably a size 8 - 10. lol! I looked so cute!!! lol! I had skinny legs, was very active and it was so exciting!!

I woke up, was stretching and opening my eyes when I realized what I had just been dreaming, it was wonderful! I almost logged on and started telling all of you, my 0 readers!! lol!

What a HUGE thing, to actually dream and kind of experiencing my body being smaller, so cool...LOVED it! I woke up feeling so happy.

There are times when I think my desire for food, real food, is gonna ruin everything. I have really hard days - to not eat any food but only drink liquids for an indefinite period of time not knowing when you can eat again - it's hard, really hard. Especially for someone with food issues. As they say at the weight-loss clinic - nobody got to this point because of hunger. The drive for food is unbelievably strong. I'm sure there are people out there who don't understand or get it, who judge people who are fat very harshly. But they don't understand the addiction, the mind messes with us. I almost feel like obesity is a mental disorder rather than a physical disease. I feel like the mental disorder manifests with a physical symptom, but the problem is in the brain.

Having a dream like I did, it's the first time my brain has started living in a new reality for me. As far as I am concerned, this dream was more important than the 22.2 lbs I've lost. This is monumental. I can start really seeing a different future, and my unconscious mind is catching up. To feel a thinner, more active body, to run with easy joy, to casually catch my reflection in a mirror and see myself thin in a dream. That's huge! I feel really good today knowing that the changes are happening inside, not just out.

It's a WONDERFUL day 26, my 0 readers...WONDERFUL!!

Day 26

It was a HOT weekend 0 readers! Thank god I don't live in/near/within 200 miles of death valley! lol! I spent the whole time in a pool so I have nothing to complain about. It was paradise.

And my suit was loose too, so that was nice. Getting to see real change. :D

I've gone ahead and purchased a thermos that will keep my water at the hot temperature for 24 hours so I can use it to make my hot chocolate shakes. I feel like this, combined with taking two - 1 lt bottles with me will be perfect. That way I know I have everything I need for a whole day away from everything. Well, except a bathroom. ha!

I'm going to Tahoe for the 4th of July, excited to be up there. Will be doing lots of walking and fun times! Hope I win when we go gambling!!

Speaking of going out, this will be the first time I am possibly going out to eat since starting this. I will make my chocolate shake but I'm not gonna lie, it will suck not being able to eat.

My motivation is good this week, I really want to lose a lot of weight for my two week weigh-in. My goal is to drop 12 lbs. Might not be really realistic, but I'm gonna try.

Some of my smaller clothes have come in, I tried on the first step down size but they are still a little bit too tight. VERY close, but not ready yet.

Yesterday I wanted a McDonald Hash brown so bad and then later at night I wanted a cheesesteak so bad. lol! I am craving the WORST foods! Sometimes I crave just veggies and always avocado, but hash browns and cheesesteaks? lol! My brain sucks!

I still can't get a handle on my afternoon hunger, the cravings are horrible. I hope I can get over this soon.

Ok 0 readers, gonna be a short week. Just one more blog and then none until Tuesday (the 9th).