I wonder if I'm hitting a peak point in my hunger/craving? The amount of time I'm spending thinking about food is torturous! Oh god, I wish there was some pill I could take that would make this obsessive thinking go away.
But upon reflection, I think this obsessive thinking has always happened for me, at least it has for years. The only difference is I would give into them before. Now they just keep coming non-stop. I might actually ask my weight-loss doc about this. Or would that be trading one addiction for another? Like, is taking Xanex to not think of food trading one "drug" for another?
And another thing relating to this, my non-stop desire to LOOK at food. I'm googling "Chicken and Waffles" or "Best burgers in the world" or "Crispy chicken strips". I've even started looking at food stuff on Pintrest too. Is this part of my illness/obsession??
I make a promise right not to stop looking at "food porn". I think this is part of what is making almost-fasting so hard. Yesterday and today, the two worst days regarding food cravings. This is a real struggle right now. My body and mind want me to go out and get food so bad right now. This sucks!!
I almost started crying at work over a filing/simple thing. I think the truth is I'm just super vulnerable and easily upset right now. I don't have my normal numbing/coping mechanism of food. I just realized I actually have tears on my cheeks right now, yup, I'm going through the rough stuff!
Wish me luck 0 readers, I need it!
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