I was hoping for a higher number, but the folks at the clinic told me to shut up! ahaha! That 5 was the perfect number. lol! So I will TAKE it!
Another successful week completed. Awesome news!!
So in this last meeting (there is a group meeting with our therapist after our weigh-in's and drawing blood they test us every two weeks to make sure we aren't damaging our organs or body) we talked about how we deal with our emotions and stress. She passed out a sheet that had 5 Styles of managing Anxiety:
Tend to have several areas where they just can’t get organized.
Become less competent under stress, thus inviting others to take over
Tend to develop physical or emotional symptoms when stress is high in either the family or the work situation.
Each such labels as the “patient,” the “frail one,” the “sick one,” the “problem,” the “irresponsible one”.
Have difficulty showing their strong, competent side to intimate others.
Know what’s best not only for themselves but for others as well.
Move in quickly to advise, rescue, and take over when stress hits.
Have difficulty staying out and allowing others to struggle with their own problems.
Avoid worrying about their own personal goals and problems by focusing on others.
Have difficulty sharing their own vulnerable, under-functioning side, especially with those people who as viewed as having problems.
May be labeled the person who is “always reliable” or “always together.”
Respond to anxiety with emotional intensity and fighting.
Have a sort fuse.
Expend high levels of energy trying to change someone who does not want to change.
Engage in repetitive cycles of fighting that relieve tension but perpetuate the old pattern
Hold another person responsible for one’s own feelings and actions.
See others as the sole obstacle to making changes.
React to anxiety by seeking greater togetherness in a relationship.
Place a high value on talking thigs out and expressing feelings, and believe others should do the same.
Feel rejected and take it personally when someone close to them wants more time and space alone or away from relationship.
Tend to pursue harder and then coldly withdraw when an important person seeks distance.
May negatively label themselves as “too dependent” or “too demanding “ in a relationship.
Tend to criticize their partner as someone who can’t handle feelings or tolerate closeness.
Seek emotional distance or physical space when stress is high.
Consider themselves to be self-reliant and private persons – more “do it yourselfers” then help-seekers.
Have difficulty showing their needy, vulnerable, and dependent sides.
Receive such labels as “emotionally unavailable,” “withholding,” “unable to deal with feelings,” from significant others.
Manage anxiety in personal relationships by intensifying work-related projects.
May cut off a relationship entirely when things get intense, rather than hanging in and working it out.
Open up most freely when they are not pushed or pursued.
Upon looking at this list I thought "Is it possible to be at least two, if not more, of these at once??" hahaha!! I feel like I am FOR SURE I'm an Underfuctioner and an Overfunctioner. lol! I'm a MESS!!
I don't handle anxiety well, I get hiccups for days, muscle twitches, eventually I crumble in to a mess. My job is probably the most stressful thing I've ever done. These last 2.5 years have been really rough and I do more than I ever should. I am not educated in HR, Finance, IT, Legal or Sales yet those are just a few of the departments I am in charge of, terrifyingly.
I have never been one to take on responsibility or stress and I've inherited this crazy level of stress and don't really know how to leave cause they pay me well (not as well as I should be for all the things I do, but more than I've ever made before). I have a constant sense of eminent failure and dread that I am somehow screwing up something so major that it ruins this company. It's pretty horrible but I don't know how to leave it. Especially now that I've begun this medical diet covered by my insurance.
The reason I'm talking about my work is because it is the biggest stressor in my life. Everyday is hard to come in, feeling like I'm on the edge of failure constantly. And with being off of food and going through this really big deal and changing my life, I have less ability to handle the stress. Just in the past two weeks I've almost (or actually did) cried several times, have had the hiccups for hours or days and my muscle are bunched up like rocks. The worse it gets, the more I want to have something to eat - my way of numbing my feelings, my drug.
So how do I deal with this, 0 readers? How do I learn how to handle my job, make the changes need? How do I reduce my stress? I don't know. Part of the problem is once I get overwhelmed I shut down (Underfunctioner) and that is the situation I am in now. I have a million things to do, can't focus on any of them and just turn my eye. Soon the mountain will crumb onto my head. That's the crux of my stress. Fear. Fear of failure and hiding from that fear by procrastinating. I feel like, if I could get past this and just get my work done I would be able to release this stress.
I don't know 0 readers, can I fix more than one thing in my life at one time? lol! I am clearly being an Underfunctioner right now. What about you?
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