Day 12

Well 0 readers my weekend did not go as planned. I had intended to spend Saturday at home alone, cleaning, watching tv, relaxing and not binge eating but staying on my fasting diet. That probably would have gone just fine but one of my best friends ended up in the hospital Saturday AM so I spent all day over at their place and spent the night. He had an ulcer episode, excruciating pain. Poor guy was just wrecked.

So I was not tested on Saturday as I thought I would be. But Sunday proved to be a BITCH in regards to cravings. I don't know if I hit my tipping point but suddenly I couldn't stop thinking about food.

When you aren't eating food and have an extremely restricted diet I imagine it's a bit like starving. I'm not starving, technically, just on the cusp. lol! But it was a rough day. I started bargaining with myself. Thinking, if I just have this one thing once, nobody will know and it will be fine and I probably won't even see a blip on my weight loss. Or, I'll work out a lot and make it OK that I ate it. Or, I can't do this for 6 months let alone a year!!

It was a rough day. And only got worse when my roomie ordered Pizza. I am capitalizing Pizza because it was that important and dominant in my mind. She asked me if it was OK and I told her it was, I wasn't lying. I don't want anyone to not do what they want to do in order to make it easier for me to be on the shake fasting diet. But god damn it was a major challenge.

First I started thinking about Red Robin burgers, than taco bell burrito's - that I don't even LIKE! Then I started thinking that if I only ate tuna salad and plain salads that I could lose just as much weight. The bargaining went on and on. I know I watched TV and did stuff, but my internal conversation was non-stop. Finally I made some veggie bullion broth and sipped that. It helped, but not a ton.

When the Pizza arrived it smell AMAZING, but never fear my 0 readers, I did not break, I did not fail, I did not cheat, I did not bail. I had my shakes, I was a good dieter, in the face of temptation I beat the evil Hunger Bitch!!

I didn't get cleaning done, I still need to do it for a party next week, I'm super stressed with work, I haven't really been doing everything I need to and am behind to a scary degree. But that's the rest of my life and this is only about my weight-loss and gaining my dreams.

So 0 readers, as I approach the conclusion of my 2nd week I want to explain really quickly what I was told about maintaining weight and the implications for weight loss.

My weight loss doctor explained that it takes 14 calories per pound to keep me (not sure if this is for a woman only for either sex) at my weight. Currently I am ingesting about .50 calories per pound. give or take a few tenths as my weight is obviously dropping daily. I've worked out all the numbers and right now I should be losing about 1 lb. per day. As I loose more weight this number drops unless I add in exercise because my intake of calories will be static and my weight will drop so each day it will take a little more calorie burning to maintain a 1 lb/day loss. I shouldn't have to worry about that until week 4 I think.

Although, it should be noted that when the body feels like it's being starved, and it is, the metabolism slows down. This is why exercise is so important, as is eating first thing in the morning to start up the metabolism. Pretty soon I'm gonna have to start waking up early, having a shake and then exercising to get the engine roaring. Thankfully, I'm a few weeks away from that yet. lol!

Have a good day 0 readers. I have started using my pedometer so I will report back my 1st day results tomorrow. The goal is 20,000 steps in a day. I'm at 205 right now. lol!